Grief Ritual Weekend
with
Victoria Markham
May 29, 30, 31, 2020
"We are not broken and we don't need fixing."
Victoria Markham
Victoria Markham
Join us over the weekend of May 29, 30, 31 when we sit in circle with Victoria Markham as she ushers us through a wild and beautiful Grief Ritual.
There is a spiritual hunger deep in our Western culture. Our cultural norms often exclude the heart and spirit we need to fully experience, embrace, and heal the realities of our lives.
Although death is intrinsic in our own lives and the lives of those around us, it has yet to be accepted fully as a normal rite of passage. The pain of being a griever in a culture that has lost the support systems for grief is often unbearable.
When we try to go out into our culture “as we are”, we can see how little the human collective knows about being with someone else’s pain and anguish. We are often met by great discomfort over our pain, and fed platitudes of recovery and hope.
This grief ritual was designed as a modern meeting of the need of grievers to be held and to share openly with other grievers without weeding through other people's projections on how or where we should be in our grief walk.
In this ritual we will build a community that embraces the great discomforts of life alongside the resilience that is also available to people who undertake such transformative events like the death of a loved one or the loss of a marriage. This time together is a deep dive into the possibilities available to us when we accept and invite grief into our lives.
There is a spiritual hunger deep in our Western culture. Our cultural norms often exclude the heart and spirit we need to fully experience, embrace, and heal the realities of our lives.
Although death is intrinsic in our own lives and the lives of those around us, it has yet to be accepted fully as a normal rite of passage. The pain of being a griever in a culture that has lost the support systems for grief is often unbearable.
When we try to go out into our culture “as we are”, we can see how little the human collective knows about being with someone else’s pain and anguish. We are often met by great discomfort over our pain, and fed platitudes of recovery and hope.
This grief ritual was designed as a modern meeting of the need of grievers to be held and to share openly with other grievers without weeding through other people's projections on how or where we should be in our grief walk.
In this ritual we will build a community that embraces the great discomforts of life alongside the resilience that is also available to people who undertake such transformative events like the death of a loved one or the loss of a marriage. This time together is a deep dive into the possibilities available to us when we accept and invite grief into our lives.
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Being Together
This ritual is designed for those who are ready to be a part of a community of grievers. We will create an intimate group with a foundation of trust and privacy. Advice giving or platitudes will be set aside as we undertake a ceremony that will denounce silence and connect with what lies deep in our souls. The shadow, the pain, the beauty, the grace, the fumbling. The messy parts. The parts where we hurt someone else. The parts where we were hurt. Unrefined. We will come together to grieve openly within a safe container while we learn to let go of our lives as we have known them. |
This ritual is designed to
- Build community for those who have experienced the death of a significant person in their lives.
- Welcome those who are experiencing the grief we face within the life we are living, such as grief around divorce, illness, abuse, abandonment, loss of a home or career.
- Provide a resource for grievers from all faiths and lifestyles. Non-denominational. Non-judgmental.
- Hold a safe container for the darkest depths of grief and resilience.
- Provide a gathering space to support one another in expressing grief.
- Be a space where feedback and platitudes are not part of the journey.
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Meet our guide, Victoria
Victoria Markham is a global powerhouse on a mission to redesign the way we view grief and heal trauma in our Western, modern culture. After the death of her 3-1/2 year old son, Victoria realized the most meaningful and the most needed service in this world was to help people through life’s great grief. Drawing on resources from indigenous cultures, personal experience, and study in the fields of trauma and Eco-psychology, she brings a fresh and needed perspective to those who are walking the lifelong path of bereavement. She is the founder of the 501c3 Life Cycle Global in Ashland, Oregon, the creator of programs for Lifecycle Center, and the producer for documentary film RE:MEMBER. |
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Her work doesn’t just focus on death but also on the great deepening life asks of us all along the way. The grief we face within the life we are living, such as grief around divorce, illness, abuse, abandonment, loss of a home or career, are all relevant to how we will handle our loved one’s dying or our own impermanent nature.
Truth and honesty have become the foundation of Victoria's practice. The old paradigm of therapy and sitting across from one another in a room with a slotted time frame is over. Victoria is taking grief back into the places once practiced within intact cultures across the globe. Death takes us into a more wild approach to healing and learning to love this life on life's terms.
By sharing her personal journey, she ushers us through the raw and unedited truth of grief, through mentorship and advocacy, learned by her lifelong journey with the Navajo, the Africanas, the Hawaiian peoples and the Latino culture.
Her degree in Eco-Psychology, 15 years in social work, and her 20-year study and practice of “rites of passage” has led her to an in depth study of trauma from a somatic point of view.
COST FOR THE WEEKEND: $335
Timing for the weekend: Friday 5pm to 8:30pm, Saturday 10am to 8pm, Sunday 10am to 3pm.
What is included: Group viewing and discussion of the documentary, RE:MEMBER, all rituals, all supplies for rituals, daily snacks & water, group dinner on Saturday night.
What is not included: Housing, lunches on Saturday and Sunday, dinner on Sunday night.
Victoria recommends that everyone eat an early dinner on Friday evening, eat a good breakfast and bring a healthy lunch for Saturday and Sunday.
Our meeting space is in downtown Redlands, close to restaurants and hotels.
For those traveling from out of town, we will be 27 miles from Ontario International Airport.
Timing for the weekend: Friday 5pm to 8:30pm, Saturday 10am to 8pm, Sunday 10am to 3pm.
What is included: Group viewing and discussion of the documentary, RE:MEMBER, all rituals, all supplies for rituals, daily snacks & water, group dinner on Saturday night.
What is not included: Housing, lunches on Saturday and Sunday, dinner on Sunday night.
Victoria recommends that everyone eat an early dinner on Friday evening, eat a good breakfast and bring a healthy lunch for Saturday and Sunday.
Our meeting space is in downtown Redlands, close to restaurants and hotels.
For those traveling from out of town, we will be 27 miles from Ontario International Airport.
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Travel with Kathy to the most southern tip of India, on the beautiful coastline of the Arabian Sea, to enjoy 14 days of total rejuvenation of mind, body and spirit in beautiful Kovalam Beach.
Your retreat will include:
Daily 1-1/2 hour healing panchakarma treatment
Panchakarma is the grand healing treatment of Ayurvedic medicine. Your daily treatment will include:
- Abhyanga - an invigorating long-stroke massage done with herb infused oils that are deeply healing and detoxifying to your body.
- Podikizhi / Elakizhi - herbal poultices prepared with herbal medicines and soaked in warm oil.
- Eye, Nose and Ear Detox
- Small herbal enema
- Shirodhara 3rd eye massage - a therapy in which warm oils are gently streamed over your forehead for about 15 minutes as you close your eyes and relax.
- Detoxifying steam
- A finishing exfoliating scrub
In Kathy’s case, panchakarma completely cured her of 5 years of chronic, debilitating neck pain and migraine headaches, and freed her from a painful emotional attachment. You can read Kathy's healing story here: blog.sivanaspirit.com/are-you-in-pain-why-not-try-the-miracle-of-panchakarma/
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Consultation with Dr. Sambhu Pillai Doctor will address us as a group to teach us about what to expect from our treatment protocol. You'll also meet individually with the doctor as he supports you through the progression of your treatments and makes recommendations for continued treatments at home. |
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Dinner at Leela Resort On our 4th night together, after having rested and become adjusted to time zone and treatment, we will enjoy dinner together at the beautiful 5-star Leela Resort overlooking the Arabian Sea. The Terrace Restaurant offers exquisite dining in an atmosphere of breathtaking beauty. |
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Sounding Healing & Reiki with Raja You will be treated to a session with the gifted healer, Raja. His sessions include energetic insights that come to him while performing Reiki on you, and a sound healing with his giant Tibetan sound bowls. This is not to be missed. |
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Cooking with Geeta
We will visit the home of the lovely and talented Geeta to meet her family and enjoy a cooking lesson as she teaches us to make a few of the most delicious Southern Indian dishes. Everyone I've taken to learn from Geeta agrees that, though the cooking lesson and delicious dishes are wonderful, the most memorable part of the evening is learning about this amazing young woman and all that she has accomplished. |
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Daily Yoga
Kathy offers gentle yoga to those who would like a short morning practice. Our yoga shala (studio) will be the rooftop of the Swagath Resort which looks out over the top of the coconut palm forest. We’ll practice to the sounds of the many local birds who love to sing out from the rooftops and trees, and the temple bells that ring in the distance. There is also a neighboring cow who loves to moo along to give us another layer of Indian ambiance. During our 2020 trip, we were visited by a Peacock and Peahen who were very curious about our yoga practice. |
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Daily Wisdom Circle Each afternoon we will sit in circle. Through wisdom story, contemplation, and soulful discussion, we will mine the depths of our own lives to discover the amrita (precious nectar) that lies within. Upon returning home, you will have gained a little more insight into who you are and how your gifts are important in this world. |
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Walks on the beach Morning and evening walks at Kovalam Beach are equally enchanting. Some say the waves at night look electric, and in the morning hours you're sure to see the local fishermen chanting their work songs as they pull in their catch. |
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Lodging at Swagath Holiday Resort
All rooms are private with comfortable beds, private bath and air conditioning. Swagath is next door to, and within a few steps of Ayushya Ayurvedic Clinic where you will have your daily treatments. There are 2 swimming pools, lovely gardens, and a spacious area for rooftop yoga. There is a small restaurant in the hotel serving a variety of delicious meals to please the western palate. You’ll be treated to a modest breakfast buffet with both Indian and American choices which might include fresh local fruits, fresh eggs, porridge, Indian curries, rice, toast and chapatis. All the food in Kovalam is very safe to eat and will not cause tummy disturbances.
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Plenty of free time each day to relax, read, rejuvenate, or meander through the local marketplace.
Because of the beautiful, relaxing beach town that we’ll be living in, and the depth of spiritual, emotional and physical cleansing you’ll be experiencing, Kathy wants to make sure you have plenty of “you time” to be quiet and to process all that you’re encountering. For that reason, she has provided ample daily free time.
There are plenty of things to do in Kovalam. Walks on the beach or into the forest area for shopping and dining, taxi to Trivandrum (the capital city of Kerala), visit local temples, take a yoga class from a local master, watch craftsmen make musical instruments, swim in the pool at Swagath’s, or . . . take a nap.
Taxi ride from TRV airport to Swagath's Resort
A taxi will be waiting for you upon arrival. You will be met right outside the airport front door and escorted to your taxi. Your taxi ride to the clinic is a little less than 30 minutes. When you depart for home, your taxi will also be arranged and paid for.
Your retreat cost does not include:
Airfare
Cost of airfare from LAX to TRV is about $1200 depending on your skill and timing in booking.
Any herbs you might wish to take home with you to continue your treatment
Doctor often suggests a home protocol for you to continue. If you choose to purchase the herbs he suggests, they will be inexpensive and you can take them home as extra baggage. Kathy always brings an additional small collapsible suitcase to transport her herbs.
All lunches & dinners (with the exception of our welcome dinner)
Though you will be on your own for lunches and dinners, the meals in Kovalam are very inexpensive. You can choose to buy food at the local market and cook it in the kitchen at the clinic for about a dollar or two a day, or go out to one of the many local restaurants. There are lots of wonderful restaurants to choose from, serving many delicious vegetarian, chicken or fish options. Cost for a truly delicious meal will run you about $5 to $8 dollars and often the portions are so big that you can take leftovers back to the clinic kitchen to eat the next day.
Shopping
Kovalam Beach is filled with shops that present beautiful items by local artisans. You can get anything from a gorgeous, hand embroidered pashmina shawl to a hand-carved drum, a fun dress, handmade shoes, beautiful jewelry made from precious stone and sterling silver, and more. The shops here are not the “trinket-selling” shops you might see in other parts of India. Though you can get some fun, inexpensive “take-home” gifts, most of the shopping is for quality items at very reasonable cost.
Tuk Tuk to any of the excursions of your choice
If you decide you’d like to taxi in to Trivandrum to see the sights and do "more serious shopping", or even tuk tuk down to the beach if you don’t feel like making the short walk on any given day, you are on your own for the cost of the tuk tuk or taxi. But like anything else in India – it’s very inexpensive.
Gratuity for your panchakarma therapists
It is customary to tip your therapist. About 300 – 400 rupees per treatment is the suggested amount. This amounts to about $4.50 - $5.50 in U.S. dollars. So, let’s just say $5 x 14 sessions = around $70.
And, of course, you may wish to tip the housekeeping staff at Swagath Resort.
A little about weather and logistics
Weather in February in Kovalam Beach is lovely. The temperatures are in the mid 80’s in the afternoon, but mornings and evenings are cooler and the ocean breeze makes things balmy and comfortable.
All the bedrooms at Swagath’s have an overhead fan and an air conditioning unit. You will be very comfortable.
Clothing in Kovalam is beach friendly. There is nothing special you need to buy to clothe yourself appropriately for Kovalam. Any of your casual wear items from home will be perfect. Kathy suggests natural fiber clothing such as light cotton to be really comfortable during your stay.
The one thing Kathy recommends you pack, however, is a light “shift-type” dress that you can throw on to wear to your treatments. Anything you wear will get very oily, so you’ll want to bring something light, easy on and off, cotton if possible, and OK to throw away when you’re done. (Or save for your next trip to Kovalam for panchakarma the following year.) (wink wink)
There is an ATM right outside the front door of the clinic so it’s easy to get Rupees with your ATM or credit card. Many of the shops & restaurants accept credit cards.
If you bring cash from home, there are plenty of places to exchange money. This is a tourist resort with many international tourists so the whole city accommodates people and their money.
You’ll need a passport and an Indian Visa for your trip.
Once you've registered for the trip, Kathy will send you a "welcome" document with lots of information about how to plan for your trip, including instructions for obtaining your Indian Visa.
Additional Information:
Kathy is limiting this trip to only 10 people. She wants the experience to be intimate and deeply meaningful for everyone. A small circle of wisdom seekers is what she envisions gathering for this very special retreat.
Together, we will enjoy a time of deep healing, welcome rejuvenation, and an opportunity to bond deeply with one another.
Cost for this retreat is $2100
Payment details:
- A $500 non-refundable deposit holds your space.
- Make 2 payments of $800 to pay in full. First payment due by Aug 1. Second payment due Dec 1.
- Total amount of $2100 is due by December 2020.
- If you cancel 90 days prior to the retreat you get 75% refund less the $500 deposit.
- If you cancel 6 months prior to the retreat you get full refund less the $500 deposit.
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Are you ready to treat yourself to 2 weeks of total rejuvenation in Kovalam Beach in 2021?
Simply fill out the registration form below and pay your $500 deposit to hold your space.
Simply fill out the registration form below and pay your $500 deposit to hold your space.
